The Tragic Story

TheTable *TheTable was in the kitchen, all alone, for he just got abandoned by his chair*

TheTable *he weeped wooden tears, missing his chair greatly as no one would ever be able to sit by him ever again*

TheRefrigerator -The refrigerator felt terribly sorry for the poor table. So she left her spot in the corner to go comfort him. After all, she knows what it's like losing someone you love. It happens to her all the time.-

TheRefrigerator -Like that leftover cabbage...-

TheRefrigerator -...and the old noodles...-

TheTable *he looked up at the refrigerator, the wooden tears staining his square wooden body, and just bawls, slamming into the refrigerator with his even wooden hands to show his agony*

TheRefrigerator -Poor poor Table. Somehow, the refrigerator, after recovering from the table!body slam, somehow pat the poor table. He needed comfort this time of sadness-

TheTable *he buried himself in the refrigirator`s second door, the wooden tears still running down the edges of his square body, and will never be complete unless the chair returns to him*

TheRefrigerator -/There, there young table/ -said the kind refrigerator- /Someday your beloved chair will return to you. But for now, you have three other beautiful chairs to love you. And I, too, love you table. Always remember that./

TheTable *looks up at the refrigirator, his nonexistent eyes now full of sparkly spackles and wooden tears* /Oh, old and wise refrigerator. You always know the right things to say, I am at awe with your every word./ *sniffs, wiping a stray tear on the fridge`s abdomen, or whatever you would call her second door* /I appreciate your love. And do know I love you too./

TheRefrigerator -The spackles and wooden tears truly touched refrigerators heart. Or light bulb.- /Of course, Table. I love you very much. And I will always be there for you. Power outage or not. My love will go on~/ The refrigerator shed one single, spackly tear for the poor table. /Foreverrrr~/

TheTable *and so, without much effort, he raised his evenly carved arms and clung to the refrigerator, the wood on his body chipping from too much spackles and manly wooden tears* /Oh almighty refrigerator, I vow to love you forever and ever, power outage or not. If I could, I would insert a wooden wire into a circuit so that I could power outage with you./

TheTable *but despite this, he looked up at the fridge* /But then I am of wooden material, and cannot do such a thing. Though it is alright, because together with your lovely metallic technology and lightbulbs which store and preserve food with love, we could make perfect dinners for people./

TheRefrigerator -Refrigerator liked this thought very much. The two of them, together, could make perfect meals for the people of the household. It was like the good Bonnie and Clyde. Only it would be... Ronnie and Tyde. Like a redneck and laundry soap. But that's besides the point.-

TheTable *the Table would love to be Tyde, just like that Tide laundry powder that a lot of Asians used, to the refrigerator`s Ronnie, because it would sound like such a perfect combination, and as he thought about it, he swore he heard angels singing praises to heaven*

TheRefrigerator -And the refrigerator would love to be Ronnie. Thus, they would be Ronnie and Tyde for the rest of their lives...- /Yes. Remember table, I'll always be with youuuu/

TheRefrigerator -And so the refrigerator started to sing- /Nearrrr FARRRR WHEREVERRR YOU AREEEE./ -And the roleplayer sucks and can't remember the chorus past there.-

TheTable *the Table stares at the refrigerator, huge moe spackly sparkles in his nonexistent eyes* /Oh, refrigerator, Titanic is my favorite movie!/ *begins to sing along* /I BELIEVE THAT THE HEART DOES GO OOOON~/ *despite him having a wooden heart hidden somewhere within the crevices of his square body*

Cecilia -Cecilia pokes her head in the kitchen and gasps at the talking appliances- VHAT EEZT THEES?! Talking prouhductssss?! MUST SELL! -And, somehow, using her almighty Swedish strength, she lifted the refrigerator over her head and ran out the back door.-

Cecilia -The refrigerator was never to be seen again.-

TheTable *suddenly, the Tables arms fall back to the ground, the place where the refrigerator once stood an empty void now* /...Where is my Bonnie? My refrigerator? The one who`d sworn eternal love to me?/ *and suddenly, he realized that the fridge was just like the chair, who abandoned him in his time of need*

TheTable *he couldn`t take this anymore* /THOSE FEMALE APPLIANCES, THEY`RE ALL LIKE THAT!/ *and so, with all the anguish and agony he was feeling, the Table painfully BELCHED and exploded into a million lacy thongs and bras, which were the only memories left of him*

TheTable (( and that ends the tragic love story of the table and the refrigerator. ))